SLOGANS FOR PRODUCT X
Or Why I'll Never Get a Job in Advertising

Product X - It's fucking useless, so don't buy it.

Product X - What a terrible thing.

Product X - If there was ever worthless shit, this is it.

Product X - You don't need it. We don't want it. Why did anyone bother to make it? It's like we're all going crazy. That's right. We're a bunch of fucking lunatics who can't stop all the crazy, and the very existence of Product X is the proof. Oh dear Lord, who will save us from ourselves? WHO WILL SAVE US???!!!

Product X - It's another thing you can buy that won't change anything about your life... except for how many things you have that haven't changed your life. That's ironic. And sad.

Product X - Just piss away your savings why don't you?

Product X - Made by rich people for cheap. Sold to poor people for more. HA! Stupid poor people - you'll never rise up, you lazy sacks.

Product X - You'll never sleep with a model. Ever.

Product X - Even the packaging is ugly.

Product X - Overpriced... because you're dumb enough to buy it anyway.

Product X - Causes cancer. Like we care.

Copyright 2004 Brian L. Perkins