SELKIRK/ALLEN-GERVIS PERSONALITY INVENTORY
The Selkirk/Allen-Gervis Personality Inventory (SAGPI) is a brief test designed to categorize humans along 4 Axes of Personality. Once categorized, the subject is quite readily understood: all actions explained, and all capabilities revealed.

To take the test, simply decide whether the following assertions are True or False.

Section 1
1. Some things aren't so great.
2. When I look at my reflection, I see myself.
3. To me, money is more important than finances.
4. Stereotypes are not real.
5. Large objects make me feel small.

Section 2
1. More often than not, I am either right or wrong.
2. A maxim is more likely to be true if it rhymes.
3. Blue is the most-liked color.
4. If my boss were less pushy, I would give back his/her children.
5. I take a chance on romance.

Section 3
1. Wool is not all it’s cracked up to be.
2. Some people think they know everything.
3. In this day and age, my magical powers are nearly useless.
4. My capacity for love is unencumbered by my inability to feel.
5. It is difficult to enjoy a game of charades.

Section 4
1. Of all my siblings, Barney is my favorite.
2. I have my doubts.
3. When I masturbate in public, I like to wear a hat.
4. Some television programs are far better than their architectural equivalents.
5. I rarely feel guilty when I strike the elderly.

SCORING
Each section corresponds to one of the 4 Axes of Personality. The axes are as follows: Feeler/Felt, Over/Under, Crispity/Crunchity, and Real/Imaginary.

Section 1
If you answered more true than false, you are Feeler. If you answered more false than true, you are Felt.

Section 2
If you answered more true than false, you are Over. If you answered more false than true, you are Under.

Section 3
If you answered more true than false, you are Crispity. If you answered more false than true, you are Crunchity.

Section 4
If you answered more true than false, you are Real. If you answered more false than true, you are Imaginary.

THE 4 PERSONALITY AXES

Feeler/Felt
A Feeler is someone who is able to sense or detect stimulus. A Felt is someone whose actions create stimulus. Feelers tend towards the more emotional fields of work and study, such as: banking, sharp shooting, modern dance, quality assurance, and space travel. Felts excel in the more physical fields, like curriculum planning, marine biology, data entry, municipal zoning, and semiotics.

Over/Under
An individual who is Over is generally positioned above or on top of an object or group of objects. A person who is Under is most often found below an object or group of objects. Overs are incredibly intelligent, but are lazy, immoral, and unattractive. Unders are not bright or interesting, but they are trustworthy, hardworking, and gorgeous.

Crispity/Crunchity
Crispity individuals are most remarkable for the exciting popping and snapping sounds emitted when they are bitten into or crushed. People who are Crunchity, on the other hand, are exactly the same.

Real/Imaginary
Real people are real. Imaginary people are not. And vice versa.

Copyright 2004 Brian L. Perkins