YOUR EPITAPH
By Brian L. Perkins

You’ll have no control over it, because you’ll be dead. What will it say? Maybe this:

Heartily Embraced (Largely Imaginary) Suffering Despite Comfortable Middle Class Life
Tolerant of Injustice
Devoted to the Lives of Fictitious People on Television
Took Passing Interest in Global Affairs
Gave the General Impression of a Decency
Made a Point of Keeping Problems to Self
Fueled by Anxiety
Dedicated Mid-Level Employee of Multinational Behemoth
Failed to Enjoy Even the Most Wonderful Things
Very Concerned With Personal Appearance
Often Wished to Be Someone Else
Felt Very Guilty about Wealth and Privilege
Possessed Voluminous Knowledge of Useless Trivia
Gave Up on Dreams Very Early
Loved Sports More Than People
Had Little, Deserved Less
Bitter for No Good Reason
Worthless Parent, Thankless Child
Defeatist Until the End
Fearful and Cowering, Even in Death
Didn’t Torture Animals or Anything
Had a Nice Couch

Copyright 2004 Brian L. Perkins